Preface

 When I came to England 1994, I was not so surprised at the cultural differences. Now, two years past, I feel some cultural gaps that are mostly characteristics or attitudes of people. However, how about fashion, food, life style ,etc.? They are mostly the same. Therefore I was surprised at the fact that Japan and England are so similar each other even though they locate almost the opposite on the earth.

 I know that Japan is now Americanised and also Europeanised. It is a hybrid culture. It consists of a lot of copies of their styles and ideas as well. It is surprising that copying the styles make human change his/her thought as well. When I found England similar to Japan, I had an illusion that as if England copied Japan. Because Western style was already Japan itself. And it is true that England also imported Japanese things in some part (food, technology, computer game ,etc.). It is ambiguous that which copied which. And the origin becomes unsure; for example, are computers Japanese original?

 I recognise this structure as a “domination”. Japan has been dominated by America and Europe and now it is dominating other countries. This structure is also applicable in the contemporary art world. For example, some Japanese artists (including me) use English in their works even though they live in Japan and exhibit in Japan. They are dominated. In case of American or British artists who use English in their works are dominating.

 I am using English in my work and they are also copies of public statements on social signs. I copy not only images but also some styles of famous artists. I used to mimic the style of Andy Warhol. After I understood his concept, I could not escape from his method. Now, I have a tremendous interest in Jenny Holzer’s work and mimicking her style. My notion behind is: Contemporary art works are the layers of stylish copies of previous images and ideas. And art works reflect the culture and society because the artists are parts of culture and society in their age. Their individuality also made of their everyday lives and their backgrounds that is influenced by the society and its culture. Andy Warhol made clarified this fact through all of his works.

 However, I am always questioning my individuality. By considering myself through my work and Jenny Holzer’s work, I noticed that why I use English in my art work and I could not avoid mimicking her work.

　Before I came to England, I was dominated by Western contemporary art world. There are Euro-centralism exists. I came to England and used English to join the class and would like to misunderstand myself as if I am on the same level with Jenny Holzer by mimicking her style. I am dominated, but also I am dominating someone who cannot understand English and who cannot understand contemporary format.

 I could not criticise Holzer at all because she was my “mother”. This is an answer of my psychoanalytical approach to myself. I need a god. It was my mother whom I corresponded to before I was born. I needed a substitution as a perfect model whom I can copy because of the lack of my self-consciousness. This is also a reason why I tried to find her body.

What I am writing here is a result of my research about Jenny Holzer’s work. Through my research I noticed myself because talking about someone is also showing my viewpoint. After all I still have interest in Holzer’s work. However to try to escape from my obsessions, I really would like to look at her as the one of artists, the one of human, not a Mother. Therefore this essay is a record of my fight against my obsession to get my own vision and to become independent from my mother.